Chelsea Londra

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Chelsea Londra

Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 28 Mar 2004, 23:50

Aici putem discuta despre Chelsea. Momentan este pe 2, dar sper sa termine pe primul loc in campionatul englez, diferenta dintre Arsenal si Chelsea fiind de 7 puncte :cool:
Iata cateva glume alb-albastre :)(

Jokes

Q.What's the difference between the Man Utd goalkeeper and Pamela Anderson?
A: Pammy's only got two tits in front of her


Q: How many Man Utd fans does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
A: Seven, one to change it, five to moan about it and Ferguson to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would have never gone out!


Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.


(Replace Spurs with any team we've just walloped.)
Q. What have the Spurs 'keeper and Michael Jackson got in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.


They say that hooliganism and racism are bad, but personally I think that Peter Beardsley is the totally unacceptable face of British football.


Ferdinand has a depressed cheekbone. Still, that never stopped Beardsley - he's got two of them !!


David James' Mum phoned him up on Saturday evening. She said "I'm not coming to watch you play again, 'cause your always waving at me during the game" !!!!!


Q. What's the difference between the Spurs keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.


Q: why do so many housewives love newcastle?
A: 'cos they stay on top for ages & then come second


A man is walking down the street in London when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby. The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!"

"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!"

"No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am David Seaman. I was the goalkeeper for England in Euro 96 and I didn't miss a match all through the tournament. In all that time I only let the ball into my net a few times."

"What? Hardly ever?" calls the woman.

"Yes!" shouts back the man. "Every football player in the land agrees that I was the best keeper in the competition and I'm now worth over 3 million pounds ".

And with that he adopts the classic goalkeepers stance - legs apart and slightly bent at the knees, body slightly bent forward at the waist and with his arms stretched downwards at a slight angle away from his body, with palms facing forward.

"OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!"

So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing.

The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man.

The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only feet from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, [*****] her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm. He hits the ground heavily on his right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to his feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive.

The crowd is awe-struck. Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation.

Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 60 yards down the road.....


Liverpool sign a Bosnian. On his debut he scores a hat-trick and is feted by all. After the match he phones his Mum to tell her how it went. She says; I' m glad things are going well for you, son - it' s not too good here. People came to our house and wrecked it, your father was beaten up, your sister raped (as was the dog) and we're feeling pretty bad.....I just wish you'd let us stay at home in Bosnia instead of bringing us here with you.


Harry has been trying like mad to get a ticket for a league game for his mate, an exile who is coming to visit. In spite of numerous calls and visits to the club ticket office, he constantly receives the same reply: "Sorry, sir. The ground is absolutely sold out. There's not a single seat left, so there's no way we can give you a ticket." Finally, he gives up in despair, and his mate cancels his visit. The day of the match comes, and he goes along and sits in his usual seat. The match gets off to a slow start and, glancing around him, he notices, a few seats further on, an old man sitting with an empty seat next to him.

He returns his attention to the game but, by half-time, this is bugging him so much that he has to ask about it. So he leans over to the old bloke and says, "Excuse me, but why is that seat next to you empty? I've been trying for weeks to get a ticket for a mate of mine who was coming from overseas and I couldn't get one. And now I come here and find there's an empty seat just a few along from mine!"

The old man sighs, and answers wistfully, "It was my wife's. We've been coming to the match together for over forty years, but she died this week."

The younger man is taken aback and stammers embarrassedly, "Oh, I'm sorry, mate. How tactless can you get? I wish I'd never opened my mouth. But, surely, you've got kids, or relatives or someone that could've come along and kept you company, so you weren't all on your own at such a sad time?"

The old man replies, "Oh, I've got six kids, and loads of relatives, and I asked them all. But they all wanted to go to the funeral."

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 28 Mar 2004, 23:52

Quotes


"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..."
- Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia.


"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"
- Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.


"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
-NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.


"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"
- George Best.


"The only English Paul Gascoigne taught me was : 'You reet ugly b*****d'"
- Chelsea Steward at the training ground to Marco Van Basten (30/11/96)


"If you're Marco Van Basten, I'm Father Christmas."
- Chelsea Steward at the training ground to Marco Van Basten (30/11/96)


"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
- Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.


"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
- John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.


"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..."
- ANDY GRAY, Sky Sport


"Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league ?"
Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard.


"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."
- TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold


"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday."
(Radio 5 Live)


"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
- (NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live)


"I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it."
- ALAN BALL


"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."
- TREVOR BROOKING


"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badlycut forehead."
- (TOM FERRIE)


"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless somebody knocks us out."
- (DAVE BASSETT)


"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
- (PETER JONES)


"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal."
- (JIMMY HILL)


"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
- (BRIAN MOORE)


"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- (DAVID ACFIELD)


"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"
- Gerry Francis


"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday."
- New York Post (1993)


"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers."
- Mick Lyons


"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head"
- Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994)


"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did"
- Barry Davies (1975)


"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
- Stuart Pearce (1992)


"Jimmy Hill: Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables: I think it's fifty - fifty


"There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch"
- Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39


"Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate"
- Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton


"If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim"
- Berti Vogts, Germany coach


"You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey "
- Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record


"Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time "
- Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach


"I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted . . . "
- John Motson, France v Bulgaria


"Why didn't you just belt it son? "
- Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss


"The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney "
- Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon


"I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because they brought out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over my forehead "
- Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas, Turkey


"If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them"
- Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game


"The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the entertainment value is not much above nil"
- Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live


"I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little buzz around the place"
- Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare


"This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players "
- praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach


"There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their names "
- David Ginola of Newcastle and France


"It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up"
- Ian Wright on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism


"It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf it's the wrong time of year"
- Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds


"I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of help "
- Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge


"The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his lottery numbers "
- Ian Wright


"asking Ruud Gullit to perform in this sort of match is like asking Kiri te Kanawa to jam with the Spice Girls""
- 5 Live's Pat Murphy on the lousy pitch at Derby and the ill-tempered nature of the game


"He's [*****] him off! The Spanish manager is [*****] his captain off!""
- RTE's (Ireland) George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville,1992.


"I've always said there's a place for the press, but they haven't dug it yet""
- Tommy Docherty.


"Viv Anderson has p*ssed a fatness test.""
- ITV commentator John Helm


"We've been playing for 61 minutes here in Serravalle, and it's just occurred to me that Scotland are drawing 0-0 with a mountaintop""
- BBC Radio Scotland commentator Ian Archer on San Marino v Scotland, May,1991


"It's not a nice feeling when your in a supermarket shopping, and the checkout girl is thinking 'dodgy keeper'."
- David James.


www.chelseafc.com

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 28 Mar 2004, 23:55

Stories

Imagine

From Peter Osgood
"When I was with the England World Cup squad in 1970 I heard a tale about Liverpool's goalkeeper Tommy Lawrence who was known throughout the game as the "flying pig. A huge man to say the least. During a derby game with Everton at Goodison the score was 0-0 with a minute to go. One of the Everton players broke clear and tried a hopeful shot that Lawrence should have had no difficulty with but the ball bounced through his legs and into the net....probably because he was so fat he couldn't close his legs.

In the dressing room after the match Bill Shankly was pacing the floor. Tommy Smith said: "I know boss, I should have kept my legs closed" Shankly replied: "No Tommy, It's your mother who should have kept her legs closed!"


Imagine

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 06 Apr 2004, 22:35

Arsenal conduce Chelsea cu 1-0, gol inscris de Reyes in min. 46. :(
Mutu este rezerva. :eek:

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 06 Apr 2004, 23:52

Arsenal 1-2 Chelsea!
CHELSEA S-A CALIFICAT! INCREDIBIL MECI REALIZAT DE BLUES!
Lampard si Bridge au fost eroii meciului!
IN semifinale va juca cu Monaco care a batut-o pe Real Madrid! :)(

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Mesaj de inter » 07 Apr 2004, 08:45

v-ati razbunat in cel mai crunt mod posibil pe tunari :)( :)(
Felicitari! 8)

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 07 Apr 2004, 13:50

inter scrie:v-ati razbunat in cel mai crunt mod posibil pe tunari :)( :)(
Felicitari! 8)
I-am batut in cel mai important moment al sezonului, sunt sigur ca Chelsea va castiga si campionatul, iar Arsenal o va lua pe urma lui Leverkusen, la fel ca si Real Madrid :)(

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Mesaj de inter » 07 Apr 2004, 20:09

:)( :)( , mda vad ca prietenul tau Dumitrescu Ionut , e cam "accidentat" , dupa umilinta indurata aseara 8)

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 08 Apr 2004, 13:52

Intr-un fel imi pare rau ca a pierdut real madrid, ar fi iesit o semifinala spectaculoasa, Chelsea - Real! :-)

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 09 Apr 2004, 12:09

Daca va cistiga Liga Campionilor

Claudio Ranieri va ramine la Chelsea Londra


Presa britanica a scris ieri ca diriguitorii gruparii Chelsea Londra i-au transmis antrenorului Claudio Ranieri ca isi va pastra functia daca va cistiga Liga Campionilor. Chelsea, care este neinvinsa in ultimele noua partide disputate, s-a calificat, marti, in semifinalele Ligii Campionilor, dupa ce a eliminat formatia Arsenal Londra.
Unul dintre consilierii patronului Roman Abramovici a spus ca situatia lui Ranieri se va clarifica in urmatoarele saptamini. „Daca Ranieri continua sa obtina rezultate precum acela din sferturile Ligii Campionilor, va fi foarte dificil sa-l inlocuim. Dorinta jucatorilor, de a fi pregatiti in continuare de Ranieri, va deveni atunci realitate“, a spus oficialul clubului englez.
Antrenorul italian are contract cu Chelsea pentru inca trei ani si primeste 40.000 de lire sterline pe saptamina.

GdS

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 20 Apr 2004, 15:28

Asta seara, Chelsea - Monaco, sperante mai sunt doar pt CL, Arsenalul este ca si campioana... :-)

Alex123

Chelsea-Monaco

Mesaj de Alex123 » 22 Apr 2004, 13:00

Sau facut de rahat i-au umilit Monaco cu 1-3! NAS PUTEA ASA CEVA!Nu a fost mutu in teren sa dea 2 goluri ca Ranieri a fost Milog cu el nici la ei acasa nu o sal bage sigur!

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Mesaj de ady_azzuro » 22 Apr 2004, 14:44

Intr-adevar Ranieri a fost penibil, s-ar putea sa-l vedem pe Maurinho, antrenorul lui Porto, la Londra! :)

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Mesaj de inter » 23 Apr 2004, 18:42

http://calcio.datasport.it/leggi.asp?id=2147123

http://www.calciomercato.com/modules.ph ... &sid=54464

de asta ce zici Adriano?
incep sa ma calce pe "bataturi" londonezii tai :eek:

DoRyNe e bine cu stirile confirmate din 2 surse ?? :-)
Last edited by inter on 23 Apr 2004, 18:47, edited 1 time in total.

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Mesaj de inter » 23 Apr 2004, 18:45

dar se pare ca iese soarele si la Milano :D:D:D
ia vezi Adriano , ca riscati sa-l pierdeti pe Lampard, ce a fost ieri un zvon tinde sa devina realitate dupa spusele agentului lui 8) 8)

http://www.calciomercato.com/modules.php?name=titolone

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